Irreverent Funnies

Here are some more funnies from my Pinterest page I thought you might enjoy! :D

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: 9gag.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: allofmywords.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: imgur.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: tickld.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: failblog.files.wordpress.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: artnet.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: 9gag.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

...I shall leave you with this little bit of irreverence. Jesus would SO laugh at this. ;)

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Pinterest Funnies

Here are some things I've found on Pinterest (and beyond) that made me laugh. Hope these make you happy! :) You should come join me over there, it's fun! And if nothing else, you can go look at what I've pinned here!

Source: fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: static.someecards.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: littlewhitelion.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: youtube.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

"Yell Ding Dong Really Loud!"

When I zone out, and I do quite often, my fingers move across the computer keys and magically land me in the crazy abyss that is the "Humor" section of Pinterest. Here are some of the crazy and funny things I've found lately. Hope they make you happy!  <3

Source: magicinthebackyard.files.wordpress.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: i.chzbgr.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: humortrain.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: the-lumineers.blogspot.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: designbuzz.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Sweet Fantasy, Baby

I have a place in my little brain that is just for me. It's filled with so much ridiculousness happiness.

At night, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and dream...

I dream that I'm off in Europe somewhere, it's cold and cloudy, and I'm wearing an extra large matching sweat suit cashmere loungewear, sipping Earl Grey tea next to a fire, cuddling up next to the love of my life, as he whispers this into my ear...

Bliss.

Then I make my way to the workout room, where my personal trainer leads me in a rigorous yoga practice, and I remain beautiful and desirable at all times. And it's not hard at all!

I proceed to the master suite where I read an educational, slightly pretentious novel atop my Tempur-Pedic-Cloud-Supreme-Gold-Woven- Diamond-Dusted mattress, whilst high-fiving a million angels.

Winning.

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then, with the cursed sun ball of morning, I wake up. And reality sets in.

I start the day with a bowl of pure energy. Off-brand Frosted Mini-Wheats...

Then I feed the @$%#@ cat...

I write a really bad song...

[youtube=http://youtu.be/XNXIZuIBJKs]

Butt-kiss all the music venues I can possibly find...

Try and come up with my own Zumba moves at the apartment for my cheaper-than-a-gym workout...

[youtube=http://youtu.be/yJ_AU6tYYbg]

Babysit some kids...

And end the day with writing an epic blog post that is sure to inspire millions, if not billions of people.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night folks, try the veal.

My Other Job

Along with making the minuscule big bucks being a music artist, I also teach voice and piano lessons to some pretty cool folks. ...And the occasional demon zombie child... But mainly cool people. I absolutely adore teaching. I especially love teaching voice. I get very "into" it and sometimes quite emotional. I'll give cheesy thrilling motivational speeches and make my students do vocal exercises they wouldn't want anyone in the world to hear them sing. And, hey Jack (Si from Duck Dynasty reference, anyone??), it works. And it's fun to watch them squirm wwoohahaha.

The other day, I had a few lessons, and I had to grab a couple of new piano books for one of my students. I walked into Shuff's Music in Franklin, TN, my most favorite music store. Get in, get out. That's what she said. That was the plan.

But, nope. That wasn't going to happen. Why? Glad you asked. I'll tell you.

I walked back to the music book room, a very echoey, wood-floor room, and there was a lone high school kid trying out a trumpet for what sounded like the first time. "Awww," I thought at first. "That's so sweet."

My "awww"s turned to "WTF" after about 10 minutes, when he continued to toot that thing loudly and obnoxiously, as well as stand in the very spot from which I needed to grab my music. I wasn't quite sure what to do. So, I did what anyone would do. I pulled out my video camera so y'all could get you a piece of this action.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBJJKkgU9Ng&feature=youtu.be]

I finally quit being nice and nudged my way to my books.

As I was leaving, a store clerk came by to check on the trumpeteer (kinda like a rocketeer, but way, way lamer). He proceeded to ask if he could try out a saxophone. "I've never played one before, but I wanna try it," he said.

I ran out as fast as I could. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I get to my lesson. And my sweet and gorgeous student Lucy greets me at the door with Setzer, the coolest cat in the history of cats.

Did I mention that her dad is THE Pedal Doctor? He's a guitar gear genius, and pedal-maker to the stars! And the lead guitar player in my band. :) But I digress...

So take note of little Lucy's fingers in this picture...

Now take a look at 'em...

This little smarty figured out that if she could just memorize WHERE to put her hands on the piano, and write all the note names on her fingers, then the piano was much easier to play. I can't say I haven't thought this very same thing.

And did I name-drop mention that BONO has played the piano I teach Lucy on? Yeah. STUPID!! (That means cool in this instance, Mom.)

I think my favorite part about teaching music, though, is just being around kids. I love their smiles and their enthusiasm and their - who am I kidding - I love their COMPLIMENTS! Ever feeling down about yourself? Go find yourself a kid. Don't kidnap the thing or anything, but just go find one and talk to 'em. They think grown ups are super stars! But be sure to stick around the 5-9 age group. By 11 or so, they pretty much hate your guts.

My last student was a sweet, sweet girl whom I had just met. She was a bit shy at first, but by the end, she was squealing and laughing and drawing pictures of she and I frolicking in flower fields.

I think it's safe to say that I am full of it the child whisperer.

I feel quite lucky.

Wardrobe Dysfunction

I looove clothes. And my mom thinks I'm super fashionable. I'm really good at finding the most cutting-edge clothes at Sears. I value buttons and pockets and hemlines and stuff. I'm also fantastic at styling my husband, if I do say so myself. I decided to take a camera on my last shopping trip so I can teach my plethora of readers how to shop like a professional.

I started my day purchasing these well-tailored jeans. The extra length at the bottom really makes me look taller, don't you think?

Then I saw an ad for the movie, "The Hunger Games," and got inspired.

Effie Trinket is my fashion hero.

Then, I heard The Rolling Stones over the loudspeaker and grabbed me this hot little number.

My advice to you: when finding the perfect fringe skirt, look for the tightest one - it'll give so much dimension to your look. This one cuts the circulation off of my stomach - a must-have!

Then, it was my hubby's turn. With Bradley, I really focused on his face and framing it with things that show off his spectacular bone structure.

I added chain mail to complete this ultra-sexy look.

Then, I wanted something vintage and regal, something that would make a statement onstage.

Sexy.

I completed his look with a full, vintage-inspired outfit handcrafted by the designers at "Colonial-Or-Bust-Dot-Com."

I can't wait for you to come to my next show, so I can dazzle you with my wardrobe. That's what makes the music sound good, you know - the clothes.

At least that's what Lady Gaga told me.

Oh But For A Chance...

...to be on THE AMAZING RACE, that is! My sister and I have sent in an audition video to be on The Amazing Race. To say we love this show would be an understatement!

Dear Lord, please let us be on this show. Amen.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/EIY7QlwpG_k]