Patient. Composed. Uncomplaining. Calm. Even-tempered. Cool.
Those are words I would use to describe...
NOT me. That would definitely be a NOT-about-me description.
I’ve never had a baby, but I wonder if how I’m feeling is similar to how moms feel at the treacherous 9-month mark. A feeling of readiness so extreme, they will (literally) burst at any second*.
I finished vocals and basic tracking for the EP in June. Since then, I have been a bit of a wackadoo. We all expected the album to be done by now. But alas, things don’t always happen according to plan. Wah Wah.
I have so many eggs in the basket that is this project, I have become a very vulnerable, exposed, impatient little person. Business contacts are waiting. Money is running low. Fans deserve what they've been waiting on for so long. But, I have no control over what will happen in the next step of this process. Until my producer is ready to release my little musical beast into the world, I must wait. I can do nothing more right now.
“Why don’t you just enjoy that you don’t have to do anything for it right now?” my sister says.
“Good idea!” I say.
*Hangs up phone. Proceeds to twiddle thumbs for 1 minute then runs around screaming.*
“How was your day?” says my husband.
“Good,” I say.
“Cool, what did you do?”
“Well, I taught my students today, made dinner, talked to some --- I’M READY FOR THIS BLEEPITY BLEEP ALBUM TO BE HERE AAAHHH I’M GONNA ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR NOW!”
“I think I’m gonna... go watch some sports now...”. *slowly walks away*
How does one wait patiently? How does one see the next horizon a short distance away and not completely freak out?
I’m serious. I really want to know. How do you wait patiently? How do you stay sane when there is a lot on the line? Or when you’re simply deep in the waiting game. I would love to know your thoughts/tips.
*DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY COMPARING MY NON-CHILDBIRTH WOES TO THAT OF CHILDBIRTH WOES. CHILDBIRTH IS UNDOUBTEDLY MORE PAINFUL THAN MY PRESENT QUALMS. THEREFORE DEAR MOTHERS PLEASE REFRAIN FROM GETTING MAD AT ME. I LOVE YOU. AND I NEED YOUR APPROVAL IN ORDER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. THERE I SAID IT. I’M CODEPENDENT. I NEED A HUG. WHERE’S MY SHRINK.